CALL TO ACTIONS:
Hello again cyber peasants, I have joined you yet again, you may thank
me. So far we explored why I troll, namely those sinister things that
peeve me and make me troll. It isn't as though I am left with any choice.
I only do it because those who irk me force my hand and continually do
those things that irk me. This is tyranny of the worst kind.
Secondly, we took an educational look at the perpetrators, the loons, the
k00ks, the weenies of usenet, who just can't help but irritate me. They
also can be entertaining to, though. We discussed why they are the little
pinheads that they are, and explored their limitations either social,
mental or both.
Thirdly, we studies where these folks hang out on usenet, their little
pinhead lairs if you will. You cannot troll these twits if you don;t know
where they infest, and only by making the light of clarity shine on them,
will they know, in their ignorance, their limitations.
That brings us to the fourth part of our journey. These are my calls to
action, to better yourselves and lift yourselves from the shadows and be
less pinheady about these. I will still troll you thereafter, but if you
meet my demands perhaps we can work something out. Let us begin the
fourth segment of our journey.
First I find it nessicary to classified you and then to give each of
you your own acronyms which will serve to call you by your new names.
After renaming you, I will give you my demands. I expect these life
changing requests to be completed within twenty four hours. No more, no
less, once you'd read this, time it exactly.
Liberals: Libs, Lefties, Progs......
My demands of you are that you accept that your opinion on it's best
day represents less than 5% of the global consensus. Your ideas are not
practical because communism did not work, nor does socialism. Socialism
is just communism under a different name. When you try, read try to
debate with someone you must understand that debate involves two people,
not the sound of your voice. And why is your voice so damn nasally? Get
your septum fixed.
Repetition of your clueless point does NOT build consensus it annoys
people. And the only victims out there are those who you victimize by
keeping on welfare, or in battering wifey hideouts and the like. You need
to stop trying to build your nanny state and let people live their lives.
These demands are right, you know it and nonnegotiable.
Al Franken, Michael Moore and Al Sharpteon must all be shunned, and
transgendered.
Rightwingers: Fundies, Jowel-boys, Facsists:
My demands of you, stop lying, stop exploiting and stop cowtowing to
the fundies who want an American taliban here. You guys are not the nazis
make you out to be, but you LIE, oh how you lie and decieve and lead
people astray. There is great potential for you, but your dependence on
the Christian right is just not leading you anywhere good.
Metrosexuals:
This is a silly buzzword invented by popular culture to make word
for gay wannabe. You want to look gay, but you're not, you want people to
think you're hip but you're not. Dress normally and shun the gay agenda.
It is veil and deceptive.
UFO Nuts:
You have no proof that aliens exist, and tin foil hats have no
protective value against telepathic attack. If aliens do exist, they
likely wouldn't bother with us, because c'mon, take a look around you.
Astrology Nuts:
Astrology is not a valid science, and never will be. Astrologers are
laid off guys who dont write good greeting cards or fortune cookies
anymore. Stop pedaling your k00kery and get a job.
Bigfoot Nuts:
Bigfoot is real, and he does exist, and he is a smart creature, more
so than a monkey. He needs to left alone and his tribal lands returned to
him. It is the rightful duty of survivalists to protect bigfeets living
near them. Anything less is treason.
PETA nuts:
PETA nuts are beyond redemption, they are terrorists and terror-
symps. They are traitors and should be sent to labor camps or sold for
cheap labor to North Korea.
Seduction Artists who sue too much:
Ray, you know whom I'm talking to, and you and I both know you need
some help. You need to stop abusing the legal system, you need to stop
abusing women and you need to understand that usenet is not your personal
marketing platform. You need to never log onto usenet ever again.
K00kologists:
You guys have way too much free time, but you do target malicious
k00ks, so what you need to do is this. Target the right k00ks, the
Bullis', the Bartlos, the Gordons and the Mark Zahn's. The other losers
who are not malicious can be entertaining. look at me for instance.
Breeders:
Stop breeding, you're polluting the Earth and raping the land with
your never ending breeding. Too many of you werent ready for kids, dont
now how to parent and will unleash your little criminals on the world.
Keep them inside and stop breeding. The Childfree will show you the way,
all you need to do is keep your legs shut.
Yuppie Scum:
You scum are scum, buyin g up all the land and building houses on
it. You are raping the land and polluting it without yourselves. Please
stop eating or breathing and accept my scorn in it's purest form.
Survivalists:
Protect the bigfeet, when they get casinos, they will give you cushy
jobs. Better than the summer jobs at Reagan land.
Mens Rights Losers:
Pangborn and company, stop scamming people and just pay the damn
child support already.
Lunatics:
Keep spewing your pychotic babble, you guys are what make usenet
interesting. Post until you're all that usenet has, and that way you're
off the streets.
Martial Arts scammers:
Train in something real and then stop taking people's money, martial
arts is a path not an industry, stop trying to make it one. Teach without
pay and thenaccept you are a teacher, not a business man.
Scientologists:
You guys are a scam, and the joke was on you, played by ron Hubbard.
He was playing you and now you keep perpetuating the joke. God you guys
are freaking stupid. You have no religion and frankly no religion needs
to hide behind lawyers. Please disband your "Church" immediately.
Catholics:
Clean up your child molestation mess, now, and never preach from any
sense of moral authority until you do.
Pagans:
Can you twikts tell me what the pagans actually believe in that
seperates you from the wiccans and any other new agey freaks?
Sports Fans:
Take as many sterility drugs as you can, you guys are the dumbs of
the dumb and as such you should be the last people to breed. I hate you,
you loudmouthed, ingorant brain dead slugs.
Eurotrash:
You guys owe ue in America big from the war. You need to cowtoy to
whatever foreign ploicy we put out there. Remember, America knows better
than you idiots. You are lucky to have us, right Comrade?
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